"BATFE Red Ass Ointment"

Forwarded by a friend:

I have received a package today that just made me bust a gut. I really have some twisted friends with a great sense of humor.

Me too.

LATER:

Here's the transcript of the label.

B.A.T.F.E. RED ASS OINTMENT

An unannounced visit by an ATF Industry Operations Investigator (IOI) and/or ATF Special Agent bearing arms, and their inability to document a violation against a targeted Federal Firearms Licensee (FFL), who is sometimes a Special Occupational Taxpayer (SOT), as instructed by James P. Vann, Esq. or one of his retinue, means not making quota and losing out on opportunities for overtime or a bonus, makes an FFL or SOT rear end mighty sore. As a gesture of good will two Poisonous Young Weasels have collaborated to releive the afflicted SOT or FFL nether regions by developing B.A.T.F.E. RED ASS OINTMENT

INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE

For immediate and long lasting relief, liberally anoint the rectum with
B.A.T.F.E. RED ASS OINTMENT applied with the index finger. A sharp moment of discomfort will be relaced by a warm, soothing sensation whose duration is remarkable. B.A.T.F.E. RED ASS OINTMENT works by anesthetizing painfully inulted nerve ending with carbolic acid and camphor in a suitable base, using hydrous wool fat to achieve moisturization. Do not apply B.A.T.F.E. RED ASS OINTMENT to the scrotum or other mucus membranes.