I have tickets for the Donald Trump rally later this morning, but Rosey and I decided we're not going.

The announcement: "Alabama Secretary of State John Merrill confirmed that Trump will hold a rally at the Birmingham-Jefferson Convention Complex Saturday. The rally will begin at 11 a.m., but doors will open at 9 a.m."

Of course, now that the US Secret Service is handling the Donald's security, you can (according to local teevee) forget about concealed carrying in the rally. No firearms, no knives, no sharp objects, no frowning, arched eyebrows or bad attitudes. He may be "all about the Second amendment," but his federal handlers ain't. In fact they're warning folks to expect "security measures like you would see at the Atlanta airport" and to leave any large purses or backpacks at home. One local Trump supporter actually warned on talk radio not to "look furtive or guilty" so you won't be detained by the federales. Although they are now saying that the doors will open at 8:30 AM, they are also saying to expect to spend long times standing outside in the cold because "the Secret Service is going to be searching everybody." This is said to be required because of the ISIS attack in Paris. "They'll be looking for suicide vests," it is said. Parking is also non-existent downtown at the best of times and unless you want to park in the feral hunting grounds of gangbangers close by the venue, you are limited to paying $8 to $10 to park in one of the notoriously insecure parking garages run by the equally notorious and corrupt local authorities. Freezing my testicles off while standing in line for hours on my bum knee and then getting groped while acting as a bit-part stand-in for some kabuki theater dedicated to "our collective security" is not something I am willing to endure just to get a look at the Donald and his supporters up close. Rosey wisely concurs. You may conclude from that that I am not a Trump fan and you would be right.

Instead, we are going to go pick up brass at the local range and maybe take in a couple of yard sales where I can buy some small items we can turn on EBay for fundraising. At least we won't suffer the indignity of being groped by tax feeders and we can retreat to the warm car at our leisure. Sorry, Donald, you ain't worth the hassle.