Another one from the SacredBull political satire list, sometime in the spring of 1997. Also another one by my significant other and me.

By Claire Wolfe and Charles Curley

We at SacredBull believe wholeheartedly in good citizenship and participatory democracy. Our motto is: The teachings of civics class are eternal. They are as true today as they were when you learned them at your teacher's knee!

Your leaders are always there to serve you, if you just let them. So if you want to change the world, the very, very best way is to ask politely -- the SacredBull way.

To help you contact those great people who work so hard to assure your freedom, here are the e-mail addresses of many of your most prominent and courageous leaders. In this list you'll find people in government and in the many, many, many fine organizations that work hand-in-hand with government to help make a better life for all Americans-including YOU!

Please write to them. Tell them what a good job they're doing, and ask them nicely for all the new laws you want. After all, that's what America's all about!

Hillary Clinton	incharge@whitehouse.gov
Bill Clinton	auction@whitehouse.gov
Al Gore	treehugger@tobacco_lobby.gov
Tipper Gore	uptight@lyrics.org
Newt Gingrich	ethics@newtered.gov
Republican National Committee	invertebrates@slowdemocrat.org
Democratic National Committee	pander@slowsocialist.org
Janet Reno (work)	butch@murder.gov
Janet Reno (home)	penisenvy@whipme.com
Donna Shalala	shillelagh@good_for_you.gov
Bruce Babbitt	grabit@land.gov
Dick Gephardt	cheerleader@big.gov
Dick Morris	dick@large.com
Ted Kennedy (work)	leftover@dynasty.gov
Ted Kennedy (home)	scuba_driver@bridge.com
Dianne Feinstein	gun_toter@gunbanner.gov
Charles Schumer	sauron@mordor.gov
John Huang	I_spy@dnc.org
Sarah Brady	lobbyist@cia.org
ATF	obey@orelse.gov
IRS	ours@yours.gov
FBI	coverup@waco.gov
Lon Horiuchi	babylove@eagle_eye.com
National Rifle Association	w_lapierre@compromise.org
CBS	damn_blather@newsless.com
Morris Dees	fundraiser@hatespeech.org
Marion Barry	cokehead@bankrupt.gov
Colin Powell	player@world.gov

In addition, the following e-mail addresses have recently been changed:

Deng Chou Peng	deng@ancestors.com
Ron Brown	oops@bosnia.com
Vince Foster	vfoster@kevorkian.com
Jack Kevorkian	kevorkian@grateful_dead.com
Jerry Garcia	jgarcia@grateful_dead.com
Bob Dole	sominex@yawn.com
Theodore Kaczinski	gorefan@slammer.com
Susan McDougal	lipsealed@slammer.com
Jim McDougal	chatterbox@slammer.com
Richard Nixon	atlast@hell.org

Please also note that the fine people currently at unitednations.org will soon receive an exciting new domain name -- unitednations.GOV! We'll keep you posted when that happens. Or you can just watch for the attractive blue berets to begin appearing in YOUR neighborhood.

Finally, we have been trying to reach the following individual for some time now and have unfortunately had nothing but a series of bounced messages. If any of you civic minded citizens out there can tell us how to reach this fellow, we sure would appreciate it:

Thomas Jefferson

revolution@saveus.com

Thank you! We hope you found today's civics lesson very, very useful. And please don't forget to notify us if you locate that Jefferson fellow! We think he could really be of help with our next terrific civics lesson!

© 1997 by Claire Wolfe and Charles Curley. This article may be reprinted for non-commercial purposes, as long as it is reprinted in full with no content changes whatsoever, and is accompanied by this credit line. The article may not be re-titled, edited or excerpted (beyond the limits of the fair use doctrine) without the written permission of the author. For-profit publications will be expected to pay a nominal reprint fee.

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20 November, 1997