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05/27/2005 Archived Entry: "Doctors in UK want to ban long pointed kitchen knives"
OKAY. THERE ARE SOME NEWS STORIES that remind you (as if you needed reminding) that those who want to control the human race are completely nuts. This is one of those stories.
Next, we'll have to ban ... lessee ... skillets, rolling pins, heavy ceramic bowls, blenders and food choppers, large platters, forks (especially the Evil BBQ Fork, which as all of us who survived the 1960s remember was one of the Manson gang's weapons of choice), tenderizing mallets, corkscrews, nutcrackers, stove burners, and canned foods (which we all know can be used to fracture skulls).
Well, that's okay. Because most of the foods we like to eat will probably end up banned, anyhow. So eventually we'll all just be able to save a lot of money by not building kitchens in our houses. We can simply lap soft, nutrative goo out of government-approved dispensers on the sides of our televison sets.
(Another article found by the prolific SJ.)
Posted by Claire @ 12:33 PM CST