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04/04/2005 Archived Entry: "The Central Spammer"

I'M BECOMING CONVINCED THERE'S ONLY ONE SPAMMER IN THE UNIVERSE. The spam is all too coordinated, too much the same. A year ago, I and everybody else I knew were being barraged by invitations to enlarge body parts -- often parts we didn't possess. Before that, it was XXX underage Asian girls doing various unsavory and illegal deeds.

Moving up the calendar, suddenly all the 12-year-old hookers and body-part enhancers were in replaced by ... fake Rolexes? Everybody commented on the sudden sunny decency of it all. Wristwatches. It was almost wholesome. But alas, too good to last.

Now, is your mailbox being filled, as mine is, with messages from people like "Longevity P. Mistletoe" and "Encyclopedia Q. Pederast" offering "Hot Babes S---king A-- F----ing C--shots" -- and many similar variations on the same five or six porn-terms?

It's all too coordinated to be the work of any real, diversified spam underground -- unless spammers are like schools of fish, all turning on one unheard command. Heck, with this degree of apparent central control, maybe The Government is even responsible for it all. Who knows?

But -- sigh -- I await the return of mere Rolexes. Even the V1agra and C*alis pitches would be welcome after this barrage. Thank heaven for the adaptive spam filter on the Thunderbird mail program. But even it can't always recognize that "Felicity X. Deviation" and "Gunnar B. Stupify" aren't our very dear friends.

Posted by Claire @ 04:26 PM CST

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