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01/29/2005 Archived Entry: "Sunni Maravillosa on liking men"
BILL ST CLAIR LINKED TODAY to Sunni Maravillosa's meditation on why she likes men. Men, that is, not merely males:
A man is special ... and increasingly rare, if my experience is typical. A man is confident in who he is. He's straight up in his interactions with others. He can do stuff -- whether it's build stuff, or fix stuff, or think stuff, he's a doer. He is sensitive but not sensitized; and he definitely isn't emasculated. ... A man uses his tools of the trade well, whether they're sockets and wrenches or keyboard and ideas. Few things turn me on as much as watching a competent man at work. A man will challenge me, but not be overbearing in doing so. A man is direct, and easy to talk to, whether it's serious stuff or just bullshitting. A man likes being appreciated for who and what he is; he dislikes being made a project. A man can cry at appropriate times at a movie or situation without making a performance of it or hiding it. A man can wrench an engine apart, and gently caress a newborn. He can laugh freely at the mysteries of life and living without hurtfully laughing at an individual. A man knows what being a man is about, and does his best to fulfill that. A man knows the difference between women and womyn, and acts accordingly.
Yeah, what Sunni said.
Sunni and I are very different, but we're both strong people. I spent a lot of my life longing for a man to match my strength -- not to dominate me and not to be dominated by me, but to match me. Very rare, that kind of personal power, the strength of partnership. A real man "knows what being a man is about" and doesn't have to prove his strength to a woman by bullying. But even more he wouldn't surrender his strength to a woman merely because it's easier to whimp out and become some broad's puppy dog.
Ayn Rand was once asked whether there should ever be a woman president of the U.S. She surprised me (then) with her adamant NO. A woman, she said, (and I paraphrase) always wants someone to look up to. If a woman were president of the U.S. she'd be at the top of the heap and she'd forever lack that. I thought she was a bit nutty at the time, but now I see.
(And if it seems contradictory to speak of both partnership and looking up in admiration at the partner ... nope. The greatest thing: to have an equal but complementary partner whose very different strengths we can admire.)
In the terrible times to come, we need your best strengths, guys. We need MEN.
Posted by Claire @ 07:41 AM CST