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11/21/2004 Archived Entry: "Duct tape, WD-40, and other keys to life"

SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE DUCT TAPE is the prime force that holds the universe together and keeps it from flying into chaos.

Others worship at the altar of WD-40. Without that elixir of life, they preach, everything in all the known galaxies would freeze up and grind to a rusty, creaking halt.

They're both right. And wrong. We who are too sophisticated for mono-elemental belief systems see a more complex picture of the universe. Clearly, the 'verse runs on four elements: duct tape, WD-40, JB Weld, and hose clamps. Give me a screwdriver big enough and an item to be fixed, and with these four elements, I (or rather, a competent handyperson) can make anything, from the dented-in roof of a trailer to a leaky toilet, perfected.

Even politicians (who, most of us believe can't be fixed by any known means) could be at least considerably improved by creative application of these four elements plus the aforesaid screwdriver.

Posted by Claire @ 01:00 PM CST

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