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09/04/2004 Archived Entry: "Weird days"


Thursday morning I showed my new trail to The Pyramid Man -- the only other person I know who's building a trail of his own, and the only person outside of me and the Yard Guy to ever see my trail. We walked down the graveled part, squelched through the Serious Mud part, then climbed down, down, down to the bottom of the hill where -- just waiting to be carved out from the brush and rubble of an old logging operation -- is the Most Beautiful Place. Not many eyes would see its beauty now. It's just sticks and dirt, and almost too steep to stand on. But The Pyramid Man knew. And he showed me even better ways to look at it than I'd already seen.

Standing there in this secret glade with this friend whose eyes and mind see the world in a unique way gave me a sudden epiphany of happiness.

I am rich. I don't have much money. But I'm rich beyond most millionaires I've known. I have this Beauty Place that's so intense it sends my mind staggering and reeling. Beauty like this is all my heart ever craved, during the years I was stuck growing up in a deadly suburb. And how fabulously, incalculably wealthy I am to have it.

I was going to write that thought. And then, with the news from Russia becoming more horrible by the minute and the poor people in Florida facing the enormous Hurricane Frances ... it just seemed wrong.

I know the world is full of catastrophe. I know I can't solve anybody's troubles merely by keeping silent in my own moments of joy. But it's a dilemma, to want to sing when the world suffers so much. Can't wrap my mind around it. I feel more in tune with the world when I'm miserable. But personal misery doesn't help the world any more than joy does. Definitely, a dilemma.

Posted by Claire @ 12:43 PM CST

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