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05/19/2004 Archived Entry: "Sweetie Pie in heat; Robbie in lust"

SWEETIE PIE THE RESCUE DOBIE IS IN HEAT. And things are gettin' HOT around my house.

Sweetie Pie is the old girl we picked up off the streets a few months ago who had obviously been a misused breeder. She can't be spayed because of a heart condition (anesthetic might kill her) and she's probably only a few months away from dying of breast cancer anyway. So there she is. For the last week she's been in the blood-dribbling stage, which is really sort of a pre-heat. Just within the last few hours she's entered the stage of being ready to accept a male. I know because my male -- who has no equipment for doing anything useful about the situation -- has suddenly started following Sweetie Pie around the cabin, whimpering, sniffing, licking, displaying even more than his usual insane possessiveness, and ceaselessly attempting to mount.

It's ridiculous because, even if he had what it takes, he'd have to climb on a stepladder to reach the top of those long dobie legs. Robbie is a good-sized dog, but he's stumpy and bull-doggish, and very little of what he's got is in his little legs. But he's ready. And she's ready. And every time he walks up to her, she lifts her little stub of a tail as if to get it out of the way and says, "Let's get it on, baby!"

But poor Rob can't get her and she eventually gets tired of his useless attempts and walks away. He follows her with a look that defines "hangdog." These two characters, who can usually scarcely stand the sight of each other, are sitting face to face right now, positively cooing. Well, she's cooing. Robbie, if he were a teenage boy, would no doubt be guilt-tripping her about how she'd do it if she really loved him, or how he'll get blue balls if she remains so "frigid." Or maybe he'd try the line about how "all the other girls do it." Little does he understand how much she wants to.

And I'm sitting here laughing my head off and being glad that humans are just a little, teeny bit more complex than these guys -- that we're able to hide our hormone-driven behaviors under at least a slight veneer of sophistication.

The vet tells me this stage of Sweetie Pie's heat might go on for a week or so, after which she's likely to have a false pregnancy, then start nursing stuffed toys. She might even produce milk.

I'm beginning to understand one more of the many reasons why we animal rescue types are so big on spays. But I'm really beginning to wonder if Robbie's neuter took. Or if he'll figure out where I keep the stepladder.

I tell you, those would be funny-looking pups.

Posted by Claire @ 08:34 PM CST

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