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05/03/2004 Archived Entry: "I need a wife"

I NEED A WIFE. No, I'm not of the homosexual persuasion. And I'm not rushing down to Hardyville town hall to demand a government license to conduct my relationships. (Imagine the reaction if I did.) But over the weekend -- as I was trying to wrap up a large job for a client while also doing my spring cleaning, hunting for a piece of long-lost (and suddenly vital) paperwork, and keeping the dogs entertained -- it occurred to me (for perhaps the umpteenth time in my life, I must confess) that I really, really, really could use a wife.

I've always liked guys. But I also always end up doing a lot more housework and cooking when they're around. And I still have to earn my own living. So a husband I don't need. But what luxury it would be to be able to focus on my work-work while somebody else fixed the meals, cleaned the kitchen, and removed the clutter of books, DVDs, paper, dog toys, and the occasional firearm before they threaten to bury Cabin Sweet Cabin in stuff.

Oh, I know. With just a bit of the wrong variety of luck, I'd end up with the sort of wife who buys 300 pairs of designer shoes on credit and has PMS of Janet Reno proportions. And I'd still have to clean the dust bunnies out from under my own bed.

But a girl can dream, can't she?

Posted by Claire @ 08:04 AM CST

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