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01/22/2004 Archived Entry: "In defense of the almanac"

"BY THE BOOK." A perfectly charming defense of the humble almanac.

The statement issued last month by the FBI advising law enforcement officials to be on the lookout for suspicious persons carrying almanacs struck many sensible people as indisputable proof that the government had finally lost its mind ....

I read [The Old Farmer's Almanac] primarily for the "Anecdotes and Pleasantries" section – the terrorist equivalent, I suppose, of someone saying they look at Playboy for the articles. I’ve learned to hypnotize a chicken (three different ways), how to tell if my toads are about to mate and all kinds of other irrelevant skills. But I have yet to come across an article that might help me or anyone else strike a blow against America. Not that I'm looking, mind you. And if carrying an almanac around with me – which I did, just this morning – makes me more of a suspect, I guess I’ll just have to live with the shame. And so will my mom, who sends me the new edition every Christmas.

Posted by Claire @ 12:24 PM CST
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