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08/20/2003 Archived Entry: "The banker's butt"

DID YOU REALIZE TWO SMALLISH JARS OF COINS CAN HOLD NEARLY $150? That was the pleasant surprise I got when I took my accumulated grocery change into a bank today. I don't go into banks very often, so I wasn't quite prepared for the less pleasant surprise.

No, they didn't make me give my fingerprints to turn my pennies and quarters into FRNS. Nothing privacy-polluting. Nothing political. I've just got a small rant about something that suddenly makes me feel like my father.

All the tellers, all women, were wearing blue jeans. When did that happen? Seems funny that at the same time banks, under the guidance of their federal masters, are getting stricter and stricter with customers, their own standards are slipping. But speaking of slipping ...

The unsmiling, mumbling, and generally unforthcoming young lady working the change counting machine was wearing a particularly tight pair of hip-huggers. Several times, she bent over to clear a jam or remove full bags of coins from the compartment under the machine. Each time she did so, she exhibited about two inches of the crack of her plump girly butt.

I'm here to tell you that the butt crack of a 20-year-old, slightly fat, entirely surly young woman isn't one bit more attractive than the butt crack of a 50-year-old, 300-pound, tobacco-chewing plumber named Spike. And somehow it was actually a lot less attractive, given that this young lady is among the guardians of our sacred trust and among those who, besides that, are encouraged to get their share of our sacred trust for reporting us for "suspicious" transactions.

Never in all my life did I imagine things would go so low (both figuratively and literally speaking) that I'd get a view of a teller's butt crack in a bank. Unthinkable. Even at McDonalds they have a better sense of decorum than that.

At least Ms. Tail-End Teller didn't sneak any of my coins into the wide-open slot on her personal little piggy bank. If she had, she'd have been welcome to keep 'em. I sure wouldn't have asked anybody to go in there after 'em. Eew.

Posted by Claire @ 04:21 PM CST

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