By Claire Wolfe
© 1999 Claire Wolfe

It was the social event of the season in Hardyville. Last Friday, the Hardyville One-Plex actually stopped playing "Anastasia." Naturally, most of the town showed up, if only to gawk in wonder at the Anastasialess marquee.

But it's not just what they weren't playing, but what they were playing that drew the crowd. That night -- for an audience that (mostly) even cleaned its boots for the occasion -- the One-Plex held the Hardy County premier " The F Zone."

Hold onto your hats -- The F Zone is a full-length feature film that exposes the illegality of the income tax.

The plot thickens

Here's the tale: Dennis Smith is an independent producer of commercials and industrial films. One day, as his brother lays dying, the IRS decides to make an example of him. Their purpose: by breaking him, to scare the whole film industry into compliance with a draconian new interpretation of the tax code. (They're trying to prove independent contractors are "employees" once again; are we surprised?)

The agency -- in the persona of the formidable Lothar Gunter (Lee West) -- hits Smith with a $200,000-plus tax levy. Smith (played by unknown William Harrity) decides to rebel. With the help of a beautiful young attorney (Kelly Hunt), he eventually learns that the income tax is illegal. The script uses the Benson/Beckman research on the 16th Amendment to make its anti-tax case.

While being relentlessly pursued by Gunter and a multi-jurisdictional mob of thugs, Smith ultimately agrees to the attorney's plan to make a movie about the real nature of the income tax. Plots within plots. A little romance. A clever twist.

Is this the greatest movie ever made? Is this "Braveheart"? Is this even " Harry's War" (that touching -- and eerily prophetic -- anti-IRS film from 1981)? No. Any movie that names its chief villain Lothar Gunter isn't big on subtlety, and in many ways, The F Zone is exactly what you'd expect.

I agree with Alexei Kurupatin -- who may have been the only reviewer to stumble on this independent film in a theater outside of Hardyville: "This is not a good movie, but it is very definitely an important movie."

After reading Alexei's review, however, I was prepared to see amateur work. This isn't. While it ain't great art, It ain't "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes," either. The F Zone is as well made as half of what comes out of Hollywood. The directing, camera work, lighting and music (all by film industry newcomers) are professional. The acting is adequate-to-downright-good. And while the action might not keep you on the edge of your seat, the story will keep you interested. In particular, the filmmakers do a good job of explaining legal matters without putting the audience to sleep.

For all this you can credit William Harrity. He's not only the star, but also writer, co-producer, film editor, chief financier and stunt pilot of an airplane that plays a prominent role in the film. Oh yes, did I mention he built the airplane? And that in his spare time he works as an anesthesiologist?

(Dora-the-Yalie and Janelle-the-waitress asked me to add: "This man is a hunk, and his abs are to drool on. Who needs John-John when you've got Harrity?")

The title of the movie refers to "The Federal Zone" -- the arena in which the government can do whatever it wishes. Although The F Zone shouldn't be confused with the porn flick of the same name, "F" also refers to the way We The People get "effed." In part, the movie is a sovereign-citizen tract (taking a position against zip codes and two-letter state abbreviations, saying they bind individuals to the fedgov); in a broader sense it's a wake-up call for anyone who hasn't already discovered that the IRS is an illegal and ruthless agent of tyranny.

Bottom line: it's encouraging to know someone has managed to make and market this movie at all.

The F Zone is going straight from limited theatrical release into video. According to Harrity, its "street date" will be October 12, and its price $19.95, plus shipping. You can place an order or get more information from:

T.H.F. Pictures
106 Palmetto #D
Pasadena, California 91105
(626) 683-9502
1-888-683-6455 toll free

On another note ...

Even agents of tyranny can be useful for something

By now you've heard that Al Gore had four billion gallons of water released from a dam on the Connecticut River so his canoe ride would make a more picturesque photo-op.

While this may seem an unconscionable waste, it has produced one very useful result -- the first scientific measurement of the worth of a politician. I'm proud to say that this breakthrough was made by a FreeLife reader -- and that he chose to publish it not in some exalted scientific journal, but right here on WorldNetDaily.

I hereby step aside and present the brilliant analytic work of Norm Van Broekhoven:

Al Gore, who -- in a desperate effort to save the last remaining drop of clean water (and to train the American public to acquiesce to whatever we are told to do in the name of "the common good") -- forced upon us non-working, 1.6 gallon-per-flush toilets --

Al Gore, who told us more honestly than he intended: "I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy -- but that could change" (Like, for instance, if Al Gore gets elected president) --

Al Gore, the eco-moron who informs us that: "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it" --

The blatant hypocrisy shown by Mr. Ecology in wasting 4 billion gallons of water is obvious. But this incident presents an exciting, perhaps unprecedented, opportunity.

As a hydrogeologist, I realized that this incident gives us a rare opportunity to quantitatively measure the worth of a politician's aspirations. Yes, I said quantitatively measure. That's right -- actually, numerically measure the worth of a politician.

Lets do a little math.

(4 billion gallons of water)

---

(1.6 gallons of water/toilet full of crap)

= 2.5 billion toilets full of crap

This proves that the effort of keeping Al Gore afloat is worth exactly 2.5 billion piles of crap. QED

Now unless someone can prove to me that there are 2.5 billion people who think Al Gore is worth a s---, I say we flush him.

And there you have it. A truly breathtaking scientific discovery.

Though this measurement is uniquely suited to the history and proclivities of Mr. Gore, it takes little imagination to see that Van Broekhoven's Fundamental Unit of Political Measurement -- the Load of Crap, or LoC -- applies equally well to other politicians.

Now the only question is: How do we nominate Norm for a Nobel Prize?