Strange Loops

# 1: Be Yourself

He watched Billy in admiration. Billy would run with long steps, then just before reaching the sandy depression would yell, "Bombs over Tokyo," and dive forward, turning slightly so he would land on the back of his right shoulder. Then, continuing the motion, he would roll over face down and fold his arms against his head, waiting for the bombs.

Lynn could contain himself no longer. With a burst of joy he, too, ran forward, diving with a yell, not quite getting it right, but eventually ending up face down.

"Lynn!" His mother was calling him. Maybe she wanted to congratulate him on his dive.

"What was it we talked about, Lynn?"

He thought about it. He couldn't remember. He hadn't done anything wrong.

"You were going to be yourself, right? To unfold your own personality and nature, like the little flower you are."

"Okay," he said. He didn't know what she was talking about.

"What were you doing?"

"I was playing Bombs Over Tokyo."

"You were imitating Billy, weren't you?"

"Yes."

"I want you to be yourself. To do what you want to. Not what Billy wants."

"I was doing what I wanted. I wanted to play the game Billy was playing."

"No. You have to be yourself and develop your own innate being. You shouldn't imitate Billy. Just be yourself."

He went and sat in the swing. For a long time he watched Billy running and diving. Billy called to him, but he was afraid to play while his mother was watching.

# 2: Salvation

"You mean no matter how hard I try to do what God says, and how many people I serve, I can't redeem myself?"

"That's right. You're saved by grace, not by works. Salvation comes from God's mercy, not from anything you do. God has mercy because Jesus was sacrificed in your stead. Jesus came to save sinners. Your attempt to save yourself by good works expresses contempt for the sacrifice of Jesus. The greater the sinner that is saved by Jesus, the greater the rejoicing in heaven."

"The greater the sinner? Then why don't I go out and raise some hell, stick up a liquor store, get drunk and stoned, and bang a few whores. All to the glory of Jesus, of course."

"Ah. But once you've been saved, you naturally want to go out and do good works. Good works are the manifestation of the grace that is in you."

"So, you're saying if I do good works, it shows that I have received the grace of God, and have been saved. But, then, that means I do get something for good works."

"Not necessarily. If you do good works just to save yourself, you're spitting on the corpse of Jesus. But if you have grace, you just do good works naturally."

"Okay. So if I do good works, and I do it because it comes naturally--that is, not to get anything or to save myself--then it shows that I have grace and have been saved. Right?"

"Well. Now you're forgetting the sin of Job. You can become proud and self- righteous because of your good works, no matter the reason for them. That's what happened to Job, and look what God did to him. He turned Satan loose to kill his family, take away his wealth, and afflict him with boils. That's what Job got for his good works."

"So even if I'm doing everything right, I may not be okay."

"That's right. You better keep looking over your shoulder."

# 3: Sweet Nothings

She had complained he never brought her flowers, so on his way home from work, Monty stopped at the florist and purchased a dozen roses. He made sure each rose was fresh with the petals still closed.

She looked at the flowers.

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"It was nice of you to bring me flowers, but--."

"But what?"

"I don't want you doing it just because I asked. I was hoping you would do it because you wanted to."

"But I did want to. I want to do what makes you happy. I thought you wanted flowers."

"Yes, but not like this," she said.

He stewed for a while. Well, she certainly hadn't mentioned chocolates. If he brought her chocolates, then she couldn't say he was doing it just because she asked. He waited four days to allow enough time for spontaneity.

"That's very sweet of you," she said. "but I'm allergic to chocolates. Besides, they make me fat. Are you trying to make me fat?"

# 4: Elusive Tale

The next sentence is true. The previous sentence is false.

# 5: Getting Ahead

The first day the branch manager had been forthright and very clear. "We reward dedicated men," he said. "We're looking for hard and loyal workers. And remember: loyalty is a two-way street. All our section managers are hired from within."

Jerry worked hard and did everything by the rules. He wanted to become a section manager as soon as possible, because he needed the additional money.

"He's brown-noser," Jerry's current section manager wrote in his evaluation file.

"A solid company man, but no vision," the assistant branch manager said.

"You haven't shown the qualities it takes to be a leader," the branch manager explained, when Jerry was passed over for promotion to section manager.

Jerry thought about it for days. Very well, there was no reason not to push for his plan, despite the toes he might step on. For Jerry had discovered a simple but effective way to cut costs by one million dollars per quarter. But it required reorganizing the entire section.

"He's a troublemaker," the section manager wrote.

"He's an idea man," the assistant branch manager said.

"Creative types can be unstable," the branch manager explained, when Jerry was again passed over for section manager.

"We need someone faithful and solid to keep fellows like you from going off the deep end."

# 6: Market Report

Monday: Bonds soared today as interest rates fell. Stocks, however, dropped. Analysts said stocks declined because investors were pulling money out of stocks and putting it into bonds.

Wednesday: The bond market continued to improve today with a further decline in interest rates. Stocks were unchanged. Analysts explained that the decline in interest rates was fully anticipated, and hence had little affect on stock prices.

Thursday: Today's rising stock market was attributed by analysts to euphoria over the rising bond market. It was also noted that falling interest rates often make stock dividend yields relatively more attractive, and lead to heavier stock demand.

Friday: Bond prices continued to rise as interest rates fell once again. The stock market, however, was unsettled and took a sharp plunge. Analysts explained that stocks declined because falling interest rates are often a sign of recession and weak corporate profits.

#7: The End

The neighbors heard the shot at 9:04 p.m. Mrs. W. H. Glisson was pronounced dead shortly after the police arrived at 10:13 p.m. Neighbors said Mr. Glisson was calm, put up no struggle, and made no attempt to flee.

The couple had decided on a separation, and the hallway was filled with Mrs. Glisson's packed luggage.

"Why did you kill her?" asked Aileen Pherson, a neighbor, as police lead Mr. Glisson away.

"Because I loved her, you see," he replied. "And I couldn't bear the thought of living without her."

J. Orlin Grabbe is the author of Keys and other short stories located here. His home page is located at: http://orlingrabbe.com/ .