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Random Acts of Sovereignty

Tom Spooner

Annoy a Senator. As often as possible.

Remember: It Really Steals.

Throw a handful of marijuana seeds into a federal judge's backyard. Then report him for cultivation.

Learn some of the fascinating uses for thermite (not to mention how to make it).

Homeschool your kids.

File Changes of Address for government offices. Be real helpful - file them for individual 'crats home addresses, too.

Sprinkle caltrops in police parking lots.

Help a permanent tourist with mail drops.

Squirt superglue into door locks.

Tape (or glue with a single small dab of Elmers) pennies to envelopes and post cards; the Posties really hate what they do to their sorting equipment.

You know those toll-free fink hotlines? Post those numbers to newsgroups and on web sites as phone sex numbers.

Don't vote. It only encourages them.

Another good use for fink hotlines - narc on other feddie goons. Home addresses, naturally.

A bomb would generally be an initiation of force, but a fake bomb threat...

Collect all the catalog and magazine subscription cards you can find. Then pick some govgoon to be the proud recipient of a national forest's worth of junk mail.

Likewise, see how many silly email lists and porn announcements you can get some weasel spammed with. If you go about it right, you can shut down POP mailboxes.

Ever wondered what a magnetic "bomb" would do to a gov computer?

Send love letters and roses to some married feddie. Let him explain that to his wife. For real fun, the "sender" can be one of his employees.

Buy a gun; learn to use it to defend yourself.

Forced to pay a tax or fine? Think pennies.

Read a banned book. Better yet, write a banned book.

Remember the anthrax scares? Try sending fed offices little letters stating, "You have not just been exposed to [insert disease/toxin of choice]" or "This is not a bomb." Bureaucrats are easily flustered.

Let's see now... A computer, a mailing list of fictitious names, and a few hundred blank 1040's. Any time wasted on nonexistent folks is time not spent harassing real victims.

Want to request some blank tax forms? There's a handy form in the instruction books. All you have to is photocopy it a few hundred times and mail it in. Remember to list some annoying govgoon or office in the address section. Two offices annoyed for the price of one. You can also request them from the IRS web site. But use an anonymizing service, like Freedom, The Anonymizer, or IDZap.

Be self-employed; decide for yourself where your money will go.

Hate your congresscritter? Get a library card in his name (most libraries still seem to accept a cancelled envelope as proof of ID and address- go through his trash), check out some hot stuff, and fail to return them. Ever. This probably won't work if your critter has a particularly memorable name.

I see more and more towns putting up those unmanned Big Brother(tm) traffic cameras that snap pictures of speeders, redlight runners, or simply spy on the goings of decent people. I imagine that the repair or replacement cost of one of those things is much greater than the price of a .22LR cartridge. Target practice anyone? Aguilla makes the neatest little primer-only .22s; you can barely hear them, and they ought to be good enough to shatter lenses.

Did you know that a conservative driver can go years on a set of expired auto tags?

Picture shift change in a cop shop parking lot. Now picture someone using one of those surgical tubing super-water-balloon-slingshots to lob a brick of firecrackers (fuse lit, naturally) into the lot from a safely anonymous distance. The laundry bill should be impressive.

So long as you have that slingshot, you can fill balloons with liquids other than water.

Come to think of it, those slingshot can be pretty good silent mortars.

(c) 2000


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