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Another one from the SacredBull political satire list, sometime in the spring of 1997. Also another one by my significant other and me.


Today's Electrnci Civics Lesson

By Claire Wolfe and Charles Curley

We at SacredBull believe wholeheartedly in good citizenship and participatory democracy. Our motto is: The teachings of civics class are eternal. They are as true today as they were when you learned them at your teacher's knee!

Your leaders are always there to serve you, if you just let them. So if you want to change the world, the very, very best way is to ask politely -- the SacredBull way.

To help you contact those great people who work so hard to assure your freedom, here are the e-mail addresses of many of your most prominent and courageous leaders. In this list you'll find people in government and in the many, many, many fine organizations that work hand-in-hand with government to help make a better life for all Americans-including YOU!

Please write to them. Tell them what a good job they're doing, and ask them nicely for all the new laws you want. After all, that's what America's all about!
Hillary Clintonincharge@whitehouse.gov
Bill Clintonauction@whitehouse.gov
Al Goretreehugger@tobacco_lobby.gov
Tipper Goreuptight@lyrics.org
Newt Gingrichethics@newtered.gov
Republican National Committeeinvertebrates@slowdemocrat.org
Democratic National Committeepander@slowsocialist.org
Janet Reno (work)butch@murder.gov
Janet Reno (home)penisenvy@whipme.com
Donna Shalalashillelagh@good_for_you.gov
Bruce Babbittgrabit@land.gov
Dick Gephardtcheerleader@big.gov
Dick Morrisdick@large.com
Ted Kennedy (work)leftover@dynasty.gov
Ted Kennedy (home)scuba_driver@bridge.com
Dianne Feinsteingun_toter@gunbanner.gov
Charles Schumersauron@mordor.gov
John Huang I_spy@dnc.org
Sarah Bradylobbyist@cia.org
ATFobey@orelse.gov
IRS ours@yours.gov
FBIcoverup@waco.gov
Lon Horiuchibabylove@eagle_eye.com
National Rifle Associationw_lapierre@compromise.org
CBSdamn_blather@newsless.com
Morris Deesfundraiser@hatespeech.org
Marion Barrycokehead@bankrupt.gov
Colin Powellplayer@world.gov

In addition, the following e-mail addresses have recently been changed:
Deng Chou Pengdeng@ancestors.com
Ron Brown oops@bosnia.com
Vince Fostervfoster@kevorkian.com
Jack Kevorkiankevorkian@grateful_dead.com
Jerry Garciajgarcia@grateful_dead.com
Bob Dolesominex@yawn.com
Theodore Kaczinskigorefan@slammer.com
Susan McDougallipsealed@slammer.com
Jim McDougalchatterbox@slammer.com
Richard Nixonatlast@hell.org

Please also note that the fine people currently at unitednations.org will soon receive an exciting new domain name -- unitednations.GOV! We'll keep you posted when that happens. Or you can just watch for the attractive blue berets to begin appearing in YOUR neighborhood.

Finally, we have been trying to reach the following individual for some time now and have unfortunately had nothing but a series of bounced messages. If any of you civic minded citizens out there can tell us how to reach this fellow, we sure would appreciate it:
Thomas Jefferson revolution@saveus.com

Thank you! We hope you found today's civics lesson very, very useful. And please don't forget to notify us if you locate that Jefferson fellow! We think he could really be of help with our next terrific civics lesson!

© 1997 by Claire Wolfe and Charles Curley. This article may be reprinted for non-commercial purposes, as long as it is reprinted in full with no content changes whatsoever, and is accompanied by this credit line. The article may not be re-titled, edited or excerpted (beyond the limits of the fair use doctrine) without the written permission of the author. For-profit publications will be expected to pay a nominal reprint fee.

This piece originally appeared on the SacredBull political satire list.




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20 November, 1997