Read this.

Alright, right now.  Here we go.

I get a post on my Facebook today from one of the people who know about everything that I've done.  Under one my statuses, he writes a comment that basically spills the beans.  I deleted it quickly, thankfully.

Why did this happen?  I really don't know.  I am thinking everyone is starting to snap, but here are a few (a lot of) rants.

1)  For people are are so "individualist" and "libertarian" to condemn me, who acted in mostly my own self interest, for my actions, is hypocritical.  I am beyond apologies, I have tried with little avail.  I am truly sorry, yes.  We won't get into the whole, "If this happened to you, what would you have done" thing.  This "right libertarian" thing doesn't work because it lacks human emotion, so stop claiming to be so much of a tight ass principled libertarian for five seconds and realize it doesn't work.  And running around on someone else's leash all day who claims to be your friend is also the most un-individualistic thing in the entire world (you're a slave).

2)   You think I'm happy, laughing my ass off over here, having a good time.  You think I've won?  Ha.  No.  All of my actions probably won't amount to anything in the court.  Nothing.  I am the most screwed person ever.  My waking moments are spent worrying, non-stop, and trying to decide if I should move out of the country and leave everyone that I love.  I may be going to jail in 2-3 months, I don't know!  I am not happy, get this straight.  I am burning in Hell every day.  I may try to hide it, but again, get your head out of your ass for a second and think about it.

3)  Where do you get off making my life worse than it already is?  What are you, the police or something?  I thought that was their job?  Feed into the drug war more why don't you, make it ruin more than it has to.  You've already abandoned me, now finish the job.  Don't hang out trolling my Facebook or trying to kick me out of things that are beyond the friend circle.  Be lucky that you're not me and thankful for what you have.

4)  I am getting some threats of "making this public," such as, "I have this blog, I will make it public."  It is an anonymous blog, but besides that, fine, if you make this public, you will just quicken what I already plan to do.  I am just hoping to get out of some of the messiest times (like court) and then publish to anti-drug war websites and organizations.  

5) I think that I am being pretty rational here (or more before this post).  I am willing to talk.  I willing to explain.  I willing to give information.  I am calm.  I am NOT offering ultimatums.  I am letting people be themselves.  When I put myself in others' shoes, I would think I would offer some kind of support even if it is someone to talk to.  I acted irrationally with the government's gun to my head, but we all do . . . now the shit has hit the fan and everyone is irrational.  What a trap.  

This is a whole lot of telling you what to do with your life.  I realize that.  It is extremely emotional.  But since I've been attacked so many times, this is my retaliation.  I'm done thinking that I'm wrong.  My life is one giant pile of shit, so please do yourself a favor and leave it alone or you'll end up smelling just as bad.  Also, come on, you have got to have something better to do.  Anything.  Please.  Stop twisting the knife, it's already in there.